Wednesday, May 14, 2008

So Long, Farewell, Auf weidersehen, Good-bye

...Regretfully they (Me) tell us (Television Networks)... cook-coo
But firmly they compell us (The Viewers) cook-coo
To say goodbye cook-coo...
To youuuuuuu (Television Networks)...

So long farewell, auf weidersehen good-bye
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight (Series Television)

So long farewell, auf weidersehen adieu
Adieu, adieu, to you and you and you (FOX, NBC, CBC, ABC, CBS, HBO, etc.)

So long farewell, auf weidersehen goodnight
I leave and heave a sigh and say good bye - goodbyyyyyyeeeee!

I'm glad... to go.... I cannot tell a lie

I fleet, I float, I fleetly flee I fly...

The sun... has gone... to bed and so must I...

So long...farewell...auf weidersehen goodbye...

~With Apologies to The Sound of Music.

Dear Television Networks,

I am writing this letter to inform you that I will no longer be in need of your services. I am withdrawing my Life Long Membership as your constant deletion of products has left me feeling angry, upset, sad and frustrated. As well, your product lines over the past few years has mostly failed to impress me and offer me anything that is truly worth my time. I've been emotionally invested, and I just can't take it anymore!

Your misguided attempt to appeal to the masses with "Reality" driven content defeats my need for scripted escapism. Your justification for yanking the few brilliant products I fall in love with has prompted me to come to the conclusion that my loyalty throughout the years is just not important to you. While begging and pleading with you in regards to extending a products' run sometimes, but rarely, works, I've made the decision to give up all together and not get involved to begin with.

In the aftermath, I have found something else from a company called Cyberspace that offers me anything I choose. The possibilities are endless and after I use it I don't feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and stomped on.

I broke a rule that I had been enforcing after feeling like this before, that I wasn't going to give anything new you offered a chance. How foolish of me. I should have known better and wound up getting burnt. Again. Adding insult to injury, your penchant for delivering all the necessary pieces except for the last one, (commonly referred to as the "Cliffhanger") is nothing short of cruel.

I mean it this time though. I will finish off the remainder of my already invested in product lines, (aptly called a "Finale") but when they are gone, so will I be.

I know my absence more than likely means nothing to you, as every year you have a whole new generation of consumers lining up to buy into your offerings. And that is fine with me, if they want sub-standard mindlessness and can deal with your uncaring executive decisions, then they can have you.

While I will always have fond memories, it is time for me to make the final break, cut my losses, and move on.

So long, farewell, auf weidersehen, good-bye,


(Loyal Fan of Firefly, jPod, Sports Night, Keen Eddie, Boomtown, Harsh Realm, Arrested Development, The Tournament, Once and Again, Surface, Lovespring International, Dark Angel, Action!, Undeclared, American Dreams, Millennium, New Amsterdam, and Joan of Arcadia)

"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one."
Nathan Fillion as Malcolm Reynolds in "Firefly"

1 comment:

jimhenshaw said...

You're absolutely right, Stephanie. Too many people in the business have forgotten the reason there even is a business -- the audience.

They used to be king, now they're market demographics, treated as mindless consumption units, who will eat what they're fed.

But they're not -- and now they have too many satisfying alternatives.